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“What!?”

We were on a sunset cruise in Key West when it hit me that my 21 year old “baby boy” was growing up. The cruise included dinner and an open bar… I head up to the bar to order a drink and my son goes along with me. I assume that he is getting a soda or water or something… Imagine my surprise when he calmly states, “I’ll have a Jack and coke,” to the bartender.

“What!?” my head screams! “What!?”

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, my son drinks!

Outwardly I calmly ask him if he realizes that he will have to pay for a premium drink, but that well drinks are free. He changes his order to a house brand and we calmly walk away with our drinks.

I was totally aware that the time would come when I would be able to have a drink with my adult children, don’t we all eventually reach that point? But, I had no idea when and how that would appear. I know now! I guess it is time to stop calling him my “baby boy”….

I well remember my college days (or should I say “daze”), but somehow in my now much older and feebler brain, I never even considered that perhaps MY son would be doing anything even close to the things I did in college. At this point, I can only pray, that perhaps the one little drink that he has now and then is the ONLY thing in which he “follows in my foot steps”. I know, I know…. If my parents had known half of what I did back in the day, the “WHAT!?” comments would have been very common place! It’s just that MY children are better than that! And.. MY children would NEVER do anything wrong. And.. MY children are perfect, I mean, don’t we all think that? Up until we have had our first major “WHAT!?” moment that is…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely sure that that was the first time he had ever ordered a drink at a bar and he only did it because he was comfortable with me and so that we could have a mother/son bonding moment. Right? It is so nice to live in a delusional world, isn’t it?

So, now let’s talk about my 17 year old daughter… who goes out to a party with some friends and is later returned to us, by her other 17 year old friends, drunk….

“What!?”

And this time it was not in my head. She only left the house an hour ago, she has never drunk before, how could this happen? The plan was that several of them were going to meet up at a friend’s house after one of them got off work, the parents were going to be home and they were just going to “hang out”. Why would I question that? I mean after all, teenagers are very reliable and trustworthy at ALL times, aren’t they?

Well, the parents were apparently not home (or if they were, they have a very different parenting style than I do) and the “responsible” teenagers decided that they needed a bit more excitement than just “hanging out” and there was a well-stocked bar within their reach, so… seriously, how could they just ignore their impulses? Despite the fact that I’m sure that their “inner voices” were screaming “WHAT!?” at the top of their lungs! And their adventure began… undoubtedly having no idea of the possible outcome of this little escapade. Of course, they were only “experimenting”, and having no idea of the results of drinking “shots” and having no idea that her small body could not handle SEVEN shots in an hour, she became slightly inebriated!

“WHAT?!”

We thanked the VERY responsible kids, who were not drunk, for bringing her home, found out where she had left her car and after several, unsuccessful attempts at trying to have a discussion with her about the dangers of alcohol, put her to bed and went to find her car…

The next morning, I got her up bright and early and announced that she would be cleaning the house today.

“What!?” (this time in her head!)

She, of course, did not feel very well (nor did she smell very well), so as I really didn’t want to smell her all day, the first task was to take a shower. I then directed her to start at the top and work down, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, cleaning the bathrooms, changing sheets on the beds, doing the laundry… and the list goes on.

Have you ever had to get up and work hard all day with a hangover? It is not something that is generally well liked, and I can guarantee that she did not like it. She didn’t like it about as much as we didn’t like having our “baby girl” come home drunk!

By the time she was finished working, she was clear headed enough to have a discussion on the consequences of alcohol and the consequences of having to continue to live life with the repercussions of the effects of the day after.

“What!?” Is probably a fairly common word amongst households with children, I mean ALL children, from the little ones who decide that the toilet is not their favorite place to “toilet”, to those who decide that the toilet is their favorite place to put any and all other things, to the defiant toddler who stamps his/her little foot at you for the first time, to the challenging middle school student who has decided that you, their beloved parent, no longer knows anything, to the high school student who shocks you with their newest faux paux!

Parenting lessons I have learned…

1)      Your children grow up and become adults whether you like it or not

2)      Sometimes your children try to grow up too soon and need to be guided on how to act like an adult and the responsibilities and consequences of trying to grow up too soon

3)      Parenting is full of surprises!

4)      The end result is a great lesson and one to be learned from

5)      Someday we will all laugh about this…

6)      The next parenting challenge is always lurking right around the corner.

7)      Perhaps we could find other methods of coping and containing from other parents if we search the web long enough…

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