“Everything that irritates us about others can lead
us to an understanding of ourselves.”
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
– C.G. Jung
Dear parents, you need to control your kids. Sincerely, non-parents
The sense of SENSITIVITY
Daily Prompt: Super Sensitive
If you were forced to give up one sense, but gain super-sensitivity in another, which senses would you choose?
I am well aware that the daily prompt is actually speaking of our five senses; however I feel the need to stray from subject slightly in light of the issues that are being dealt with in Colorado right now.
I am actually going to be writing more about giving vs. receiving and how sensitive some of us are. I truly believe that “sensitivity” should be a sense since some of have so much more than others. Exactly as some of us have better vision, better hearing, have a more enlightened since of taste, touch and smell, some of are more sensitive, have more empathy and are more concerned about others.
For instance, I called a friend in Longmont, CO over the weekend to see how they had fared the floodwaters and if she needed any help. She was extremely grateful that I called and expressed her surprise at how I was the ONLY one who had called her despite the large number of people who know that she lives in Longmont, CO and the national news regarding the plight of the people in that community, as well as many others in Northern Colorado.
Do we simply not care about other people anymore? Are we so wrapped up in our own lives that we can’t take a moment to check on other people? It made me very sad to know that she had received no other calls….
How many times have you made a dinner for a friend in need, never to have it reciprocated? Now, I do what I do because I want to, but a small gesture back would be appreciated, unless of course, they simply don’t care. They know that I will do it and don’t feel the need to do anything nice in return, EVER!! The joys of the sense of SENSITIVITY!
How many times have you decided to throw a party? You send out dozens of invitations and maybe five people respond. I really don’t mind if they can’t make the party, I would simply like the courtesy of a response so that it doesn’t come down to the last moment and you still have no idea if anyone is going to show, as you wait with piles of food and appetizers to please your wayward party goers. Do they ask you back to their house; do they apologize for not responding, do they even acknowledge or understand that the mere moment it would have taken them to respond to the invitation would have taken the pressure off and allowed you to plan the menus more efficiently? SENSITIVITY is definitely a cumbersome sense to have to deal with!
How many times have you called a friend, over and over again, but they NEVER make the gesture to call you. Do they not realize that phones work both ways and that perhaps you would like them to actually call YOU once in a while. Instead, I sit there wondering what I have done wrong…. Why they don’t call… Why they don’t care…. Ahhhhhh, SENSITIVITY!
How about when you are trying to have a conversation with your child or your spouse and they simply don’t respond. Can they even hear you speaking? Do they care that you may like some slight gesture that they heard you or perhaps even feign some interest in what you are saying? I find it hard to believe that one would think it acceptable to simply not respond, even if it is only a “grunt” to acknowledge the sound of my voice. And then the SENSITIVITY sense kicks in and soon the CRYING sense may kick in, as well.
I realize that all of this has definitely strayed from the plight of the flood victims, it just simply brought so many other issues to mind when I think about the “new normal” that all of those people are going to have to learn to live with in the coming days, months and years. And I wonder how many people will continue to care once the news coverage ends. How alone are those people going to feel because most of us are too busy to think about how our actions affect the SENSITIVITY of others?
Just think about it for a little while. When was the last time you reached out to someone in need or thought about how your actions, or inaction’s, may affect someone else? Just because you don’t have a heightened sense of SENSITIVITY doesn’t mean that it is okay for you to ignore those of that do.
Which one are you? Do you have the sense of SENSITIVITY and is that the one sense that you feel you could do without? Or without it would you cease to be the kind, caring and sensitive person you are?
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/16/daily-prompt-sensitive/
Dragonfly in my window
As I was sitting here at my desk this morning, trying to find inspiration for a new blog, I heard a noise… I glanced up and there ‘inside’ my house, was a dragonfly on my window. It was trying to desperately to escape to the outside and luckily my screen slides open, so I was able to open the screen and allow it the opportunity to escape the confines of house and reenter the outside world.
I felt compelled to find out the meaning and symbolism of the dragonfly and what it may mean to have one show up in your house. I came up with many different meanings, but what held true in most of them, was that the dragonfly symbolizes change…
When this spirit animal shows up in your life, it’s an indication that it’s time for change. Just like the dragonfly changes colors as it matures, you may be called to live and experience yourself differently. Stay open to the enfoldment of your personal journey.
Animal of wonder, the dragonfly can bring forth the enchanting spirit of our own nature. When you see this spirit animal, allow yourself to open up to the magic of nature and the elements.
Japan made the dragonfly its national emblem. It is a symbol of joy and rebirth.In some Native American traditions, it is also symbol of the departed souls.For the Mayan, the dragonfly is the emblematic animal of the goddess of creativity, Ix Chel. It is said that the dragonfly’s wings and magical songs revived her after she almost got killed.
Change…. In many regions and as a norm of this day, the dragonfly is considered to be an agent of change and presumably symbolic of a sense of self realization. Self realization from how the dragonfly uses its power to control its movements and so elegantly. And change and evolution is all about the dragonfly’s ability to fly and the way it can be comfortable on water, land as well as the air.
I am now left to ponder why this amazing creature showed up in my house and why it appeared to me in this manner. What is the change I am supposed to be summoning? How am I supposed to seek out this change? What does it all mean?
As an animal totem, there are many things to consider. So my task is to find the meaning in the appearance of this wondrous creature and to explore some of the options that have now been opened to me:
The dragonfly is generally associated with the symbolic meaning of transformation. Here are common meanings for this animal totem:
- Change and transformation
- Adaptability
- Joy, lightness of being
- Symbol of the realm of emotions, invitation to dive deeper into your feeling
- Being on the lookout for illusions and deceits, whether are external or personal
- Connection with nature’s spirits, fairies realms
I have never held much stock in why certain things appear to us and what they hold for our lives, but because it appeared at a very timely moment in my life, I feel that I must try and find the meaning….
Wish me luck on this journey of transformation and meaning..
Thank you, wonderful dragonfly!
I hate that dog!
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/daily-prompt-walk/
My absolute most favorite shoes ever were purchased sometime in the 80’s. They were the most expensive shoes I had ever owned and I was so proud of them. I wore them everywhere! They were my work shoes, my casual shoes, my dancing shoes… I LOVED THOSE SHOES!!!
One day after work, I went to a friends house for cocktails. We both kicked off our shoes in the living room and proceeded to pour a couple glasses of wine and make ourselves comfortable. As we set about making our plans, the house became strangely quiet. The dog had disappeared..
“I wonder where the dog went?”
“I’m sure he’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
And we proceeded to talk about our day, make our plans for the evening, laugh and share as the minutes ticked by….
We eventually made our plans, put away our glasses and headed out to the living room to collect our shoes and head out for our “night on the town”.
“Where’s my other shoe?” I ask.
We proceed to look under chairs, sofas, etc.. while I proceed to wail it out… “Those are my favorite shoes! I LOVE those shoes!”
We make our way to the kitchen, and…
The shoes are ruined, the night is ruined, the dog is banished, and I NEVER even got an apology… AND our plans for the night were canceled since I had no shoes to wear!
NEVER, EVER leave your favorite shoes on the floor of a house that owns a dog!
A peaceful and vanishing time…
The New York Times is going to feature your blog on its home page, and you’ve been asked to publish a new post — it’ll be the first thing tens of thousands of new readers see. Write it.
Serenity
What has happened to peace and tranquility and times for relaxation and quiet contemplation? The peaceful sunsets from our back yards, horses grazing in pastures, freshly mowed fields of hay, fishing from a peaceful pond on a warm summer day.. The youth of today has no idea what they are missing out on with all of the modern equipment they are attached to at all times…
There are people out there who have never even seen a cow! The concrete and technology jungle that many of us live in today is encroaching upon our very means of existence and I, for one, am very sad about it.
Some of my favorite childhood memories involve visiting my aunt and uncle’s farm in northern Minnesota. The excitement I felt when pulling into their yard was indescribable. For the next two weeks, I would get to be a “farm girl”! As I got out of the car the smells would hit me, making my senses reel in excitement.. the hay, the grass, the manure and many more that I simply can’t remember right now. The farm dogs would come running up wagging their tails and sniffing to make sure I was okay and not an intruder. Cats would appear from everywhere, rubbing up against my legs as to tell me how happy they were to see me, before they hurried off to their important business of mice catching. My aunt and uncle and cousins would come rushing up, from whatever farm duties they were currently attending to and greet me warmly. I got to look forward to the next two weeks of no TV, home cooked meals of fresh baked bread, milk fresh from the cow and vegetables picked right out of the garden! Oh, how I miss those days!
Up at the crack of dawn to milk the cows, muck out stalls, search for the latest batch of kittens, explore the pastures for whatever incredible thing we might discover, ride on the tractor (and sometimes drive it) to go and check out other pastures… and being unbelievably dirty most of the time. I didn’t have to wash my hands until dinner time! The list goes on, but is was all wonderful and magical… (except for the time I was chased by a skunk – that was not so wonderful…)I even got to see the Northern lights one magical summer. How many city kids have ever seen that, or even know what it is for that matter..
Nature’s miracle
Progress is natural, of course. But I, for one, miss the peaceful and serene days of life on a farm. Hard work and hard play were a natural part of life and every one in the entire family participated. It’s too bad we are all too busy these days to notice.
Inspiration!
I seem to find something each and every day which helps to encourage me and remind me that writing may actually be my calling and what I’m meant to do… There were two today..
“Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”
– Steven Pressfield, is a best-selling author. This quote is taken from his short and perfect book The War of Art.
“Each of us has an inner dream that we can unfold if we will just have the courage to admit what it is. And the faith to trust our own admission. The admitting is often very difficult.”
“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”
– Julia Cameron, is an American teacher, author, artist, poet, playwright, novelist, filmmaker, composer, and journalist. She is perhaps most famous for her book The Artist’s Way.
Inspiration!…
WHAT?!
We blog for a million reasons, but in the end we’re all storytellers. Creative Writing Challenges help you push your writing boundaries and explore new ideas, subjects, and writing styles.
“What!?”
We were on a sunset cruise in Key West when it hit me that my 21 year old “baby boy” was growing up. The cruise included dinner and an open bar… I head up to the bar to order a drink and my son goes along with me. I assume that he is getting a soda or water or something… Imagine my surprise when he calmly states, “I’ll have a Jack and coke,” to the bartender.
“What!?” my head screams! “What!?”
Apparently, unbeknownst to me, my son drinks!
Outwardly I calmly ask him if he realizes that he will have to pay for a premium drink, but that well drinks are free. He changes his order to a house brand and we calmly walk away with our drinks.
I was totally aware that the time would come when I would be able to have a drink with my adult children, don’t we all eventually reach that point? But, I had no idea when and how that would appear. I know now! I guess it is time to stop calling him my “baby boy”….
I well remember my college days (or should I say “daze”), but somehow in my now much older and feebler brain, I never even considered that perhaps MY son would be doing anything even close to the things I did in college. At this point, I can only pray, that perhaps the one little drink that he has now and then is the ONLY thing in which he “follows in my foot steps”. I know, I know…. If my parents had known half of what I did back in the day, the “WHAT!?” comments would have been very common place! It’s just that MY children are better than that! And.. MY children would NEVER do anything wrong. And.. MY children are perfect, I mean, don’t we all think that? Up until we have had our first major “WHAT!?” moment that is…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely sure that that was the first time he had ever ordered a drink at a bar and he only did it because he was comfortable with me and so that we could have a mother/son bonding moment. Right? It is so nice to live in a delusional world, isn’t it?
So, now let’s talk about my 17 year old daughter… who goes out to a party with some friends and is later returned to us, by her other 17 year old friends, drunk….
“What!?”
And this time it was not in my head. She only left the house an hour ago, she has never drunk before, how could this happen? The plan was that several of them were going to meet up at a friend’s house after one of them got off work, the parents were going to be home and they were just going to “hang out”. Why would I question that? I mean after all, teenagers are very reliable and trustworthy at ALL times, aren’t they?
Well, the parents were apparently not home (or if they were, they have a very different parenting style than I do) and the “responsible” teenagers decided that they needed a bit more excitement than just “hanging out” and there was a well-stocked bar within their reach, so… seriously, how could they just ignore their impulses? Despite the fact that I’m sure that their “inner voices” were screaming “WHAT!?” at the top of their lungs! And their adventure began… undoubtedly having no idea of the possible outcome of this little escapade. Of course, they were only “experimenting”, and having no idea of the results of drinking “shots” and having no idea that her small body could not handle SEVEN shots in an hour, she became slightly inebriated!
“WHAT?!”
We thanked the VERY responsible kids, who were not drunk, for bringing her home, found out where she had left her car and after several, unsuccessful attempts at trying to have a discussion with her about the dangers of alcohol, put her to bed and went to find her car…
The next morning, I got her up bright and early and announced that she would be cleaning the house today.
“What!?” (this time in her head!)
She, of course, did not feel very well (nor did she smell very well), so as I really didn’t want to smell her all day, the first task was to take a shower. I then directed her to start at the top and work down, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, cleaning the bathrooms, changing sheets on the beds, doing the laundry… and the list goes on.
Have you ever had to get up and work hard all day with a hangover? It is not something that is generally well liked, and I can guarantee that she did not like it. She didn’t like it about as much as we didn’t like having our “baby girl” come home drunk!
By the time she was finished working, she was clear headed enough to have a discussion on the consequences of alcohol and the consequences of having to continue to live life with the repercussions of the effects of the day after.
“What!?” Is probably a fairly common word amongst households with children, I mean ALL children, from the little ones who decide that the toilet is not their favorite place to “toilet”, to those who decide that the toilet is their favorite place to put any and all other things, to the defiant toddler who stamps his/her little foot at you for the first time, to the challenging middle school student who has decided that you, their beloved parent, no longer knows anything, to the high school student who shocks you with their newest faux paux!
Parenting lessons I have learned…
1) Your children grow up and become adults whether you like it or not
2) Sometimes your children try to grow up too soon and need to be guided on how to act like an adult and the responsibilities and consequences of trying to grow up too soon
3) Parenting is full of surprises!
4) The end result is a great lesson and one to be learned from
5) Someday we will all laugh about this…
6) The next parenting challenge is always lurking right around the corner.
7) Perhaps we could find other methods of coping and containing from other parents if we search the web long enough…
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/19/writing-challenge-1000-words-four/
My personal hole..
So, this weeks writing challenge is:
Fit to Write – http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/writing-challenge-health/
We have all gone through challenges, whether it is physical or emotional, there are challenges which most of us must over come at one time or another.
I read a post from a friend today that stated that she had been unjustly accused of something to which she had nothing to do with… Has that ever happened to you?
I can tell you that it probably happens to more of us than you aware. You, or someone close to you, is accused of something for which they had no knowledge and were definitely not involved with. What do you do? How do you approach this? Do you crawl into a hole and hope no one notices or do you hold your head high and rely on the strong circle of friends and family to get you through?
I crawled into a hole and it was not a great place to be. Newspaper articles appeared defining the atrocity to which I had, unknowingly, participated. Accusatory phone calls abounded and people to whom I had had a close relationship, stopped speaking to me. It was definitely a dark time in my life and it wasn’t even me who was being accused, but a close family member. Either way, I fell in to the hole and refused to emerge.
As more and more people began to read and hear about the accusations and the subsequent legal consequences, I buried myself deeper and deeper, refusing to acknowledge the possibility of truth or my possible part in these accusations. It took years before I was even able to accept that there may be truth in the accusations.
After much sole searching, I began to evolve. What did, or did not, happen had nothing to do with me. I did not participate in the supposed “wrong-doing” and I would have to hold my head high and “move on”. Was it easy? Absolutely not! I still cringe when the subject is broached or if I allow myself to think about those horrible times. I have had conversations with the other people involved and have come to terms with the past.
“We can’t take responsibility for other people’s action, but we are 100% responsible for our reaction to other people. Also, we cannot blame other people for us not keeping our side of the street clean.” (this was taken from one of my favorite sights of inspiration and love – https:\thedailylove.com) and I work hard at trying to remember this on a daily basis.
I am fit to write! I have a valid place in this universe! The past does not define me and in order to heal, I must move on and become the person that I am meant to be!
I am just now discovering that I LOVE to write and that, through writing, I can come to terms with all the challenges that live has, and will, present to me. I hope that my writing brings joy and peace to others, but if it doesn’t, then it will bring joy and peace to me.
I hope that you are all able to find peace and joy in your life and that you will find your outlet for letting go and moving on. Writing is becoming my vessel and I can only pray that it will become my future.
Sometimes the people you want there the most aren’t….
I heard this line in a TV show and it struck me as being such a part of my life that I just had to sit down and share.
“I hate it here! I wish we were back in Colorado!” is what I heard for the seven years we lived in a lovely town in middle Tennessee. This is after my mother begged us for years to move from Colorado as she wanted a new start and heaven forbid that she and my father would move to another state without us. So, being the dutiful only child that I am, I packed up my family and we moved across the country. I cannot even begin to describe the trials and tribulations that were associated with that move, just suffice it to say that moving two families with two small children and dog across country to new homes in a new city in a new state was mind-boggling!
My father passed away and my mother moved again, thanks to me, that is. I took over all of the finances, planned the funeral, sold her house, packed up her belongings and sold the items she no longer needed or had room for, cleaned her cat box, bought her groceries, took her to her doctor’s appointments, planted and watered her garden and prepared most of her meals, while she sat and complained about how much she hates her new home and how I don’t do enough for her. During all of this, I am still a wife and mother to two small children. I am a substitute teacher, a cake decorator, a scout leader and a babysitter (not just to my mother, but to children as well). I have weathered flooded basements, tornadoes, kitchen fires, and ruined holidays, while attempting to make my mother happy and hoping that one of these days, she will actually “be there” for me.
We are packing again, as I can no longer stand the daily liturgy of how much she hates it in Tennessee, despite the fact that my family and I love it there. What is the definition of crazy? Oh yeah, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, where are we headed this time? Arizona, because my mother will be happy being back in the southwest, which is her passion, but not mine. At least, I have convinced her to move to a retirement community!
“I hate it here! Why did we ever leave Tennessee?” is the newest daily comment. She calls me at least 10 times a day, only to tell me how much she hates it here and how she doesn’t see me enough. I turned down a well-paying, full time job because I would not be available enough for her and I resume my substitute teaching (which I do actually love) and go to visit her when I don’t have a teaching job. At least she is no longer able to drive to my house and honk her horn and expect me to come running as she did in Tennessee! Our third Christmas in Arizona, my son, who is seventeen at the time, asks me the profound question, “Do you think that we will ever have a happy Christmas before I move out of the house?” What a heart breaker! It is time to give up my craziness and stop worrying about what makes my mother happy. How many more years am I going to do this my family?
My husband had the opportunity to accept a job in Colorado. That is where I wanted to be (and, of course, where she wanted to go back to), so I jumped at the opportunity! Of course this means that I have to do the double packing and moving again, but I want to be back in Colorado, so was willing to do it all again. The children were consulted being as my daughter would be starting high school and my son would be in his last year of high school. They agreed, so the process began again. Amidst the house hunting and school hunting, my husband breaks his neck and just so we can put things in perspective here, I call my mom to tell her that our return to Arizona will be delayed as my husband has fallen and broken his neck and is in intensive care while his situation is evaluated. Someone is “there for you”, would offer their expressions of sympathy and concern, as EVERYONE else in my did, but my mother yelled, screamed and cried about how stupid he was for letting that happen and how dare I be gone from her another week! Shall we talk again about how crazy I am for continuing to put up with this? My husband’s neck injury turned out to be non-life threatening and non-surgical (thank God), so the kids and I returned to Arizona for them to finish out the school year while my husband stayed with his daughter in Colorado for his convalescence.
And so, the packing and planning began again. It took multiple moves to get everything coordinated and accomplished. My husband and I found a house online, being as our house hunting got cut short due to his injury, he closed on it and we moved in. In the meantime, I found a nice retirement community for my mom and got the furniture arranged; the clothes put away, the pictures hung and the myriad of other things finished before I moved her. This is, of course, while trying to do the same things at my own house, get my children enrolled in school, and a million other things. I finally drove back to Arizona, to pick her up, put the rest of her stuff in my mini-van, return the rental furniture she has been using for the last month and head back to Colorado. Shall I tell you the stories about what a “fun” trip it was? You probably have a good idea of that by now, so I will just continue without those “amusing antidotes”!
“I hate it here, why did we ever leave Arizona?”
The latest move and her subsequent unhappiness was the final straw. I have finally learned to set my boundaries, the needs of my family come first and there will be no more moves and holidays planned around trying to make my mother happy. There are some people that will never be there for you, no matter how much you want it and I simply have to accept that and move on (not physically, however).
dsavirtualworld.com 